PetScrub, a Houston-based company that sells a pressure washing tool that cleans and de-sheds dogs, recently issued a press release describing their product in efforts to gain support and increase sales.
The press release begins with the statement, “It could be the best pet invention since the flea collar,” and continues the lead paragraph with background about what PetScrub does specifically. As a lead sentence, this statement captures readers’ attention but doesn’t give much information about the actual product itself. This sentence would have done well if it was the following more of an informative lead. Considering that this is a product press release, readers should know instantly what they’re reading about from the opening line.
Another focus of this lead paragraph is to state that PetScrub has launched a Kickstarter campaign to bring the product to the market, but the company fails to mention the campaign again in the release and doesn’t state how to donate to it. If I were PetScrub, I would make sure to explain more about what Kickstarter is, why they began the campaign and how one can contribute to it.
The overall writing style of this press release is also not ideal. There are just two large paragraphs, so it doesn’t flow very well. Breaking this information up into separate, more concise paragraphs would be more effective.
In addition, including more videos and pictures about how to use the product would help increase clarity. There are pictures and videos linked below the press release, but people don’t necessarily know what they’re clicking on when they see these links. Embedding the pictures and videos instead of linking them would solve this problem. Similarly, using quotes from consumer testimonials would be effective to showcase the product’s best features.
This press release isn’t deplorable, but there definitely is room for improvement. If PetScrub wants to increase its consumer base, they will have to learn to communicate their message slightly better. The information about the product is there, it just needs to be conveyed in a different way.